


the nine trials of man

by chameleontattoos



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chameleontattoos/pseuds/chameleontattoos
Summary: when lee hwitaek is your ra, you're going to take full advantage of how easy it is to make fun of him(rated teen for some mild strong language)





	1. episode 1

**Author's Note:**

> texting / instant messaging au and also a university / college au!! whee!!

_hwitaek_ created a group

 _hwitaek_ named the group **green house!!**

 _hwitaek_ added _changgu_ , _hyunggu_ , _yanan_ , _yuto_ and  
_wooseok_ to **green house!!**

 _hwitaek_ added _hongseok_ , _hyojong_ , _jinho_ and  
_shinwon_ to **green house!!**

 **hwitaek**  
<okay so i know we already did this at the house  
meeting  
<but for the sake of being thorough  
<welcome to res  
<my name is hoetaek  
<or hwitaek  
<or hui  
<it really doesn’t matter  
<i’m your RA **4:00PM**

 **hyojong**  
<he says he’s doing it to be thorough  
<but really he just needs receipts for the res  
supervisors to prove he’s doing what they’re paying  
him to **4:01PM**

 **shinwon**  
<shut up hyojong **4:01PM**

 **hongseok**  
<shut up hyojong **4:01PM**

 **jinho**  
<Let Hui do his job, for God’s sake.  **4:01PM**

 **hwitaek**  
<THANK YOU  
<anyway  
<we already did the whole ‘hi this is my name this is  
my degree’ thing so i won’t make you do it again  
<my room is the one at the end of the hall on the  
second floor  
<if you need anything **4:02PM  
** <campus map, study timetable template, bandaids et  
cetera  
<just wander up  
<i’m sure you’re all busy organising your rooms so  
i’ll leave it there  
<welcome to CSU!  **4:02PM**

 **yanan**  
<Thank you! **4:02PM**

 **changgu**  
<Thanks!! **4:02PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<ok thanks!! **4:02PM**

 **yuto**  
<thank you **4:03PM**

 **wooseok**  
<ty **4:05PM**

 **jinho**  
<Also, by the way.  
<I was an RA last year, so anything Hwitaek doesn’t  
know I can probably help you with.  
<My room is the one next to the stairs.  
<First floor.  **4:10PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<okie doke **4:10PM**

\----

 **hongseok**  
<@first years  
<i’m doing a movie night thing in the common room  
after dinner  
<as a bonding activity i guess??  
<i also have snacks **5:15PM**    
<nobody’s allergic to nuts i hope **5:16PM**

 **yuto**  
<nope **5:16PM**

 **changgu**  
<No **5:16PM**

 **yanan**  
<I’m not **5:16PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<not me **5:16PM**

 **wooseok**  
<negatory **5:16PM**

 **shinwon**  
<why aren’t the second years invited to your movie  
night **5:16PM  
** <what if i wanted to bond with the children  
<this is EXCLUSION **5:17PM  
** <FAVOURITISM  
<DISCRIMINATION  
<I DON’T APPRECIATE IT  **5:17PM**

 **hongseok**  
<because the second years are a bunch of messes  
<i don’t want the babies contaminated  
<also they need their own squad **5:17PM**

 **hyojong**  
<you’re a second year too  
<asshole **5:18PM**

 **hongseok**  
<i know  
<i speak from experience  
<also @shinwon **5:18PM  
** <if you did any of your own legwork you would know  
changgu and yan an are only a year younger than  
you  
<they’re nobody’s children  
<except jinho’s and maybe hwitaek’s **5:19PM**  
<and mine  
<naturally  **5:19PM**

 **shinwon**  
<i told you to tell me what you found out  
<dick **5:19PM**

 **hongseok**  
<i didn’t want to **5:20PM**

 **shinwon**  
<but whyyy **5:20PM**

 **hongseok**  
<because you were being a diva and i’m not your  
personal assistant **5:20PM**

 **shinwon**  
<ok wow rude **5:20PM**

 **hwitaek**  
<you could have asked me  
<am i, the literal ra, who has all this information, a  
nothing person  
<i don’t deserve this **5:20PM**

 **hyojong**  
<i would have asked you **5:21PM**

 **hwitaek**  
<thanks babe **5:21PM**

 **hyojong**  
<love you babe **5:21PM**

 **shinwon**  
<best friends  
<gross  
<anyway  
<hongseok  
<even though we’re being unjustly barred from this  
bonding exercise  
<can we help pick a movie **5:21PM**

 **hongseok**  
<last time you ‘helped us pick a movie’ you made us  
watch a really weird russian bootleg of pirates of the  
caribbean with a gratuitous porn montage instead of  
an actual climax  
<so **  
** <no  **5:22PM**

 **shinwon**  
<i hate you **5:22PM**

 **hyojong**  
<climax  
<lmao **5:22PM**

 **wooseok**  
<lol climax **5:22PM**

 **hyojong**  
<ayy **5:22PM**

 **wooseok**  
<ayyyy **5:22PM**

 **hongseok**  
<a n y w a y **5:22PM**

 **yanan**  
<Can we watch homeward bound? **5:23PM**

 **jinho**  
<Omg  
<That movie is so cute!  
<I knew I liked you.  **5:23PM**

 **yanan**  
<^_^ **5:23PM**

 **hyojong**  
<is that the one with the cat and the dogs **5:23PM**

 **hwitaek**  
<what’s homeward bound **5:23PM**

 **shinwon**  
<i just heard a colossal gasp from the room next  
door  
<i’m guessing that’s yan an lol **5:23PM**

 **yanan**  
<Ok, I know you’re the RA and all...  
<So, no disrespect, but...  
<You’re a godless heathen.  **5:23PM**

 **hyojong**  
<get wrecked **5:23PM**

 **hwitaek**  
<whose side are you on  
<i thought you loved me  
<:( **5:24PM**

 **shinwon**  
<GODLESS HEATHEN  
<OH MY GOD **5:24PM**

 **hyojong**  
<i do love you  
<you’re my one and only cinnamon apple  
<but that was funny **5:24PM**

 **jinho**  
<This one.  
<I’m adopting this one.  **5:24PM**

 **hongseok**  
<this is not what i wanted  
<oh my god wait **5:24PM**

 _hongseok_ changed _hwitaek_ ’s display name to  
_godless huithen_

 **hongseok**  
<perfect **5:25PM**

 **jinho**  
<Hyojong owes me five dollars!  **5:25PM**

 **hyojong**  
<god fuckin dammit  
<ok i’m coming to your room  
<give me a sec  
<i can’t find my wallet  
<lmao **5:25PM**

 **hongseok**  
<why does he owe you five dollars **5:25PM**

 **jinho**  
<I bet him you would make a really bad joke before  
the end of today.  **5:25PM**

 **hongseok**  
<¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
<not my money **5:25PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<this is some kind of treason  
<i’m deactivating all your key cards **5:25PM**

 **shinwon**  
<how very mafia boss pirate captain overlord of  
you  **5:25PM**

 **changgu**  
<I thought dorm life was supposed to be a  
democracy.  **5:26PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<it’s an autocracy until further notice  
<i must take a stand against such blatant disrespect  
of my authority **5:26PM**

\----

 **hyunggu**  
<are we still watching a movie **7:03PM**

 **hongseok**  
<yes **7:03PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<no **7:03PM**

 **yanan**  
<You’re a godless heathen.  
<You don’t get a say.  **7:03PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<-.- **7:03PM**

 **hongseok**  
<that settles that then  
<see you all downstairs at  
<8:30? **7:03pm**

 **jinho**  
<They’re all in my room.  
<Taking turns crushing my best time at Mario Kart.  
<Who knew there were so many legal glitches?  
<(They all say yes.) **7:03PM**

\----

 **jinho**  
<I hear crying.  
<Multiple cryings.  
<Are you guys okay?  **10:35PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<NI  
<NO  
<WHO GIVES A SJIT **10:35PM**

 **jinho**  
<I Understand.  **10:35PM**

 **shinwon**  
<the cover had happy animals on it  
<what is wrong with you **10:35PM**

 **hyojong**  
<shinwon  
<you stone hearted bastard **10:36PM**

 **yuto**  
<SHADOW ALMOST DIDN’T GET HOME TO ANDREW  
YOU UNFEELING SEA SPONGE **10:36PM**

 **shinwon**  
<i don’t know how that’s supposed to be an insult  
<sea sponges are homies **10:36PM**

 **changgu**  
<BRB. I HAVE TO SKYPE MY PARENTS.  
<I GOTTA TELL MY DOG I LOVE HER.  **10:37PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<ME TOO **10:37PM**

 **yuto**  
<ಥ_ಥ **10:37PM**

 **wooseok**  
<I DON’T EVEN HAVE A DOG BUT I WANT HIM TO  
COME HOME **10:37PM**

 **yanan**  
<You’re all welcome.  **10:37PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<am i the only one getting the impression that none  
of the first years except yan an had seen this film  
before tonight  
<why am i the huge asshole **10:38PM**

 **hongseok**  
<because you’re the ra  
<everyone gives the ra the most shit  
<it’s tradition **10:38PM**

 **jinho**  
<This is true.  **10:39PM**

 **hongseok  
** <plus you’re the one who did the generally stupid  
thing and told on yourself **10:39PM**

 **hyojong**  
<you just indirectly said everyone in green house  
is smarter than hui **10:39PM**

 **hongseok**  
<…  
<i mean **10:45PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<OH COME ON **10:46PM**


	2. episode 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't drink and door, children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a reminder: 'godless huithen' is hwitaek

**green house!!**

**godless huithen**  
<just a reminder to everyone about the pre-event  
party we’re hosting tonight  
<we’re hosting the pre-event party tonight  
<people should start rocking up at like 20 past  
6 **2:17PM  
** <i cleared space in my room for your valuables if you  
want somewhere safe to put them that isn’t your  
bedroom  **2:18PM**

 **hongseok**  
<truly you’re the poster child for over organisation  
<and over efficiency  
<it’s a uni res party not a fancy do for the upper class  
**2:18PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<shh **2:18PM  
** <you literally wrote in my character reference that  
that was a good thing  
<anyhow  
<you all know how these things work  
<people tend to bring their own drinks  
<but if you feel like pitching in  
<go ahead **2:19PM**

 **wooseok**  
<on that subject  
<a friend in third year sold me a case of cider for  
tonight  
<it doesnt fit in my fridge  
<what do i do with it **2:19PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<good man  
<gold star  
<just put it in the communal fridge  
<if it doesn’t fit anywhere take all the cans out and fit  
them in where you can **2:20PM**

 **wooseok**  
<ok thanks hui **2:20PM**

 **hyojong**  
<wooseokie comin thru with the goods **2:20PM**

 **wooseok**  
<i got u bro  
<bromeo  
<brozone  
<brojong **2:20PM**

 **hyojong**  
<brojong  
<how have i never thought of brojong **2:20PM**

 **yan an  
** <Maybe because it’s really really dumb?  
<And your subconscious mind was trying to protect  
you?  **2:20PM**

 **wooseok**  
<hey :(  
<i came up with it **2:21PM**

 **yan an**  
<Is that supposed to change my opinion?  **2:21PM**

 **brojong**  
<yan an  
<anie  
<my large meme child  
<c’mon now  
<have you learned nothing about me in the last  
week  
<i thrive off being dumb **2:21PM**

 _hyojong_ changed his own nickname to _brojong_

 **godless huithen**  
<unfortunately **2:21PM**

 **brojong**  
< :-* **2:21PM**

 **shinwon**  
<if you ever ask me to call you that irl  
<i will pee in your bed **2:22PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<that sounds very unsanitary **2:22PM**

 **jinho**  
<Please don’t pee in anyone’s bed.  **2:22PM**

 **brojong**  
<secondhand embarrassment turns him on  
<he has a watersports kink **2:23PM**

 **yuto**  
<that’s not even how watersports works **2:23PM**

 **jinho**  
<do i want to know how you know what is and isn’t  
classified as watersports **2:23PM**

 **yuto**  
<i’m a 19 year old boy with a healthy interest in a  
variety of topics **2:23PM**

 **changgu**  
<Those two concepts don’t make sense next to each  
other.  **2:23PM**  
<Wait, let me look again...  
<Ohh, ok. I get it!  **2:24PM**

 **shinwon**  
<you don’t know anything about my turn ons  
<or my kinks  
<also pee belongs in a toilet **2:24PM**

 **brojong**  
<i know plenty about your kinks  
<you just  
<don’t remember telling me  
<and you literally JUST threatened to piss in my  
bed **2:24PM**

 **shinwon**  
<that does NOT mean i have a watersports  
kink **2:22PM**

 **hyojong**  
<1 + 1 = 2  
<;) **2:22PM**

 **shinwon**  
<i hate this family  
<i’m moving out  
<is it too late to apply for a dorm transfer **2:22PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<in theory you can transfer whenever  
<but there’s a lot of paperwork involved  
<like a LOT  
<you’d be able to move all your stuff out of your  
room and halfway across town one piece at a time  
before you got done with the first round **2:22PM**

 **shinwon**  
<can i move while the paperwork is being  
done **2:22PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<no, sorry **2:22PM**

 **shinwon**  
<WELL then WHAT is the POINT **2:26PM**

 **godless huithen**  
< ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
<don’t shoot the messenger **2:26PM**

\----

**jinho, hui**

**jinho**  
<The dorm transfer paperwork is like.  
<2 pages front and back.  **2:22PM**

 **hui**  
<i know it is  
<lol **2:22PM**

 **jinho**  
<I didn’t raise you to be this much of a  
snake.  **2:26PM**

 **hui**  
<true  
<you indeed didn’t  
<you raised me to crush any and all dorm duckling  
discord by using gentle harmless fakery **2:26PM**

 **jinho**  
<I still can’t believe you listened to my drunk  
rambling about my underhanded residential advisor  
tactics.  
<But you didn’t listen when I told you not to play  
strip poker plus whiskey shots with Hyojong and  
Hongseok.  **2:27PM**

 **hui**  
<okay first of all  
<that was during o week  
<and i couldn’t give two lightly sauced shits what my  
unfamiliar ra thought i should or should not do  
<second of all  
<i think we can both agree that me listening to your  
drunk rambling has saved multiple asses on multiple  
occasions **5:27PM**

 **jinho**  
<I AM a font of drunk wisdom.  **5:28PM**

\----

**green house!!**

**hyunggu**  
<can we pregame with the cider **2:27PM**

 **yuto**  
<it’s two in the afternoon  
<day drinking is not a good look **2:27PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<i’ll day drink if i want to **2:27PM**

 **wooseok**  
<find your own pregame alcohol  
<this is specifically for the party **2:27PM**

 **yuto**  
<you’re literally drinking from a can of cider right  
now  
<i can see you **2:27PM**

 **wooseok**  
<ITS R **2:27PM**  
<UDE TO STARE  
<i hurt myself **2:28PM**

 **yuto**  
<move your hand out of the way next time **2:28PM**

 **hongseok**  
<was that wooseok’s door slamming **2:29PM**

 **yuto**  
<yes  
<he almost crushed his fingers **2:29PM**

 **wooseok**  
<do you get off on ratting me out or  
something **2:29PM**

 **yuto**  
<i’ll let you know if the image of you in tears over  
slamming your hand in your bedroom door makes an  
appearance in my fantasies **2:29PM**

 **wooseok**  
<STOP ANNOUNCING MY SHORTCOMINGS TO THE  
WHOLE DORM **2:29PM**

 **shinwon**  
<hyojong probably knows what that kink is  
called **2:30PM**

 **brojong**  
<well  
<not as such  
<but leave it with me  
<i’ll invent a name for it **2:30PM**

 **shinwon**  
<of course you will **2:30PM**

 **brojong**  
<don’t mock me  
<i know where you keep your expensive ass  
chocolate **2:30PM**

 **shinwon**  
<i don’t know what you’re talking about  
<what chocolate **2:30PM**

 **brojong**  
<playing dumb doesn’t suit you my friend **2:30PM**

 **shinwon**  
<you’ll never take me alive **2:30PM**

\----

**dream meme team**

**ew toe**  
<for serious  
<is your hand okay seokie **2:29PM**

 **who sucks  
** <i have little blood blisters all over my fingers  
<it kinda hurts to bend them **2:29PM**

 **kang kino**  
<i’ve got a medical icepack in my freezer  
<do you want me to bring it down **2:29PM**

 **who sucks  
** <you dont have to  
<ill live **2:29PM**

 **kang kino  
** <dude  
<if your fingers hurt to bend  
<there’s something wrong **2:29PM**

 **yeo-da**  
<If you let him ice your stupid dumb baby hand  
<I’ll give you my yoghurt **2:30PM**

 **who sucks  
** <are you bribing me with food to make me agree to  
this **2:30PM**

 **yeo-da**  
<Yes!!  **2:30PM**

 **ew toe**  
<do it for my conscience **2:30PM**

 **king of china  
** <I think I have some anti-inflammatory cream  
somewhere, too.   **2:30PM**

 **who sucks  
** <i already have one mother  
<plus jinho and hongseok i guess  
<are we really doing this rn **2:30PM**

 **king of china  
** <Yes.  **2:30PM**

 **kang kino**  
<yes **2:30PM**

 **yeo-da**  
<Yes.  **2:30PM**

 **ew toe**  
<yes **2:30PM**

 **who sucks  
** <oh my god **2:31PM**

 **kang kino**  
<the icepack is melting  
<i’m coming downstairs **2:31PM**

 **yeo-da**  
<I’ll bring the yoghurt!!  **2:31PM**

\----

**green house!!**

**yan an  
** <[IMAGE]  
<Wooseok is receiving proper medical attention,  
everyone.  
<Don’t stress!  **2:35PM**

 **jinho**  
<I forgot to ask if you were okay...  
<Now I feel like a neglectful parent.  **2:35PM**

 **yuto**  
<we’re looking after him  
<fret not **2:35PM**

 **hyunggu**  
<see  
<[IMAGE] **2:35PM**  
<he’s being babied like the invalid he is **2:36PM**

 **jinho**  
<Do you need anything?  
<More ice packs?  
<Pressure bandages?  
<Poppers?  
<Shinwon’s expensive nougat?  
<I know where it is!  
<I can get some!  **2:36PM**

 **shinwon**  
<OY **2:37PM**

 **brojong**  
<HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT **2:37PM**

 **shinwon**  
<JINHO YOU TRAITOR  
<I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE **2:37PM**

 **changgu**  
<Jinho!!  
<It’s all good!!  
<We’ve got it under control.  **2:37PM**

 **wooseok**  
<i wlil take that hcohcloate tho **2:38PM**

 **yan an  
** <(His hand is numb because icepack.) **2:38PM**

 **shinwon**  
<go away  
<it’s mine **2:38PM**

 **godless huithen  
** <you would deny an injured teenager his injured  
wishes  
<shame on you **2:38PM**

 **hongseok**  
<when i sprained my knee playing football the first  
thing you did after i was discharged from hospital  
was laugh at me  
<you have literally no wiggle room to be mean to  
someone being mean to someone else in relation to  
an injury **2:39PM**

 **godless huithen**  
<why do i keep being targeted like this **2:40PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the formatting slightly for this chapter because i'm still working out how to write texting fic, please let me know if the tweaks are any good!!


	3. episode 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new house rule: never let yeo changgu go shopping unsupervised during sales

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> hwitaek - godless huithen -> hui  
> hongseok - hongseok -> mumseok  
> shinwon - shinwon -> sinwon  
> changgu - changgu -> yeo ho ho  
> yuto - yuto -> yutokyo  
> hyunggu - hyunggu -> kinope  
> wooseok - wooseok -> sonseok

**dollar shop emerald city**

**yeo ho ho  
** <where can i get a new pillow from **11:59AM**

**hui**  
<is there something wrong with yours? **12:00PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <not at all  
<i just need to wash mine  
<i need a spare **12:00PM**

**brojong**  
<washing pillows  
<that’s a new one **12:00PM**

**sinwon**  
<how dirty are you to have to wash your  
PILLOW **12:01PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <excuse me  
<the experts say you should wash your pillow as  
needed  
<i have decided it needs washing  
<thencewise and therefore  
<i’m washing it **12:01PM**

**sonseok**  
<im embarrassed to know you **12:02PM**

**yutokyo**  
<what experts **12:02PM**

**yan an  
** <have you been digging around in the linen care  
corner of the internet again **12:02PM**

**hui**  
<it’s barely been 2 weeks **12:02PM**  
<how is there an ‘again’ **12:03PM**

**yan an**  
<you don’t spend as much time with him as me  
<you know not the horrors i have had to  
witness **12:03PM**

**sinwon  
** <insert image of meerkat standing up alertly here  
<details **12:03PM**

**brojong**  
<information pls **12:03PM**

**yan an  
** <i’ll tell you later **12:04PM**

**brojong**  
<lmao i just imagined shinwon as a meerkat  
<works well **12:04PM**

**sinwon**  
<i’m ignoring you **12:04PM**

**kinope**  
<thencewise can’t really be a real word  
<stop making up words changgu **12:07PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <shut up  
<i’m pretty sure this counts as bullying **12:07PM**

**yan an**  
<well  
<have you or not **12:07PM**

**yeo ho ho**  
<…  
<not? **12:08PM**

**mumseok**  
<that was convincing **12:10PM**

**kinope**  
<ok it’s actually in a lot of olden times poetry but  
it’s still not in the dictionary  
<so as far as i’m concerned **12:10PM**  
<not a word **12:11PM**

**yeo ho ho**  
<oh m ygod **12:11PM**

**brojong**  
<the torment never ends for our fair hero **12:11PM**

**yeo ho ho**  
<I’M LEAVING NOW BYE **12:11PM**  
<i’ll figure this out for myself  
<you’re all horrible horrible people **12:12PM**

**brojong**  
<love u bby **12:12PM**

**brojong**  
<no but  
<seriously  
<shinwon  
<you’re a meerkat **12:30PM**

\----

**changgu, wooseok**

**changgu**  
<hey **3:43PM**  
<hey **3:44PM**  
<hey wooseok **3:45PM**  
<hey **3:46PM**  
<hey **3:47PM**  
<excuse me **3:48PM**  
<if i might have your attention **3:49PM**  
<your extreme tallness **3:50PM**  
<o venerated house baby supreme **3:51PM**  
<your most illustrious wooseokness **3:52PM**  
<i can see you reading these you fuck **3:55PM**

**wooseok**  
<i wanted to see if i could get you to say anything  
more fun for future me than YOUR MOST  
ILLUSTRIOUS WOOSEOKNESS **3:55PM**  
<nice one btw  
<i should get a plaque made for my bedroom  
door **3:56PM**

**changgu**  
<i can’t believe i was gonna give you a  
present **3:56PM**

**wooseok**  
<baby dont be like that  
<i love u  
<promise **3:56PM**

**changgu  
** <you only want me for my gifts **3:57PM**

**wooseok  
** <ill have a plaque made for you too ok **3:57PM**

**changgu  
** <…  
<go on **3:57PM**

**wooseok  
** <i totally will  
<itll say **3:57PM**  
<beyond this door **3:57PM**  
<is the final resting place of yeo changgu **3:58PM**

**changgu  
** <should’ve known **3:58PM**

**wooseok**  
<gone too soon **3:58PM**

**changgu**  
<i hate you **3:58PM**

**wooseok**  
<please consider leaving grief gifts in the form of  
gold coin donations **3:59PM**  
<are you still there **4:09PM**  
<can i still have my present **4:10PM**

**changgu**  
<no **4:10PM**

**wooseok**  
<D8 **4:10PM**

**changgu**  
<i might reconsider  
<if  
<and only if **4:10PM**  
<you come and pick me up from the centro  
shopping complex asap  
<i need help with something **4:11PM**

**wooseok**  
<is it related to my present **4:11PM**

**changgu**  
<yes  
<because if you don’t come and get me you won’t  
be getting one **4:11PM**

**wooseok**  
<alright jesus **4:11PM**  
<no need to pull out the big guns  
<ill be right there **4:12PM**

\----

**dollar shop emerald city**

**yeo ho ho  
** <does anyone have one of those things that has lots  
of plugholes **5:37PM**

**hui**  
<one of the what now **5:39PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <that big long thing with lots of power  
sockets **5:39PM**

**yan an**  
<that explanation is no help whatsoever **5:40PM**

**hui**  
<a powerboard?? **5:41PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <yeah  
<i think that’s what it’s called  
<do you have one **5:41PM**

**hui**  
<can’t say that i do no **5:41PM**

**yeo ho ho**  
<dammit **5:41PM**

**yutokyo**  
<why would any of us just casually have a powerboard lying around **5:47PM**

**sinwon**  
<i can’t even buy a six inch from subway right now  
without my bank account going into deficit **5:47PM**  
<why the hell would i spend money on a  
powerboard **5:48PM**

**jinho**  
<you have a job  
<so that’s a lie **5:49PM**

**sinwon**  
<ok listen ,, **5:49PM**

**jinho**  
<listening (: **5:50PM**

**brojong**  
<if i had one it would be because i was using  
it **6:00PM**  
<and i therefore would absolutely not give it to  
you **6:01PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <gee  
<thanks guys  
<big help **6:01PM**

**sonseok**  
<i did help **6:01PM**  
<i could have made a dick joke  
<but i didnt **6:02PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <you absolute saint, wooseokie  
<you’re really a model young adult **6:02PM**

**sonseok**  
<:’)  
<i know **6:02PM**

**mumseok**  
<what do you need a powerboard for? **6:11PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <well  
<see  
<you know how i went into town for a  
pillow **6:11PM**

**mumseok**  
<uh huh **6:11PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <there was a sale **6:11PM**

**yan an**  
<sigh  
<here we go **6:13PM**

**brojong**  
<oh boy **6:13PM**

**mumseok**  
<a sale  
<where **6:13PM**

**jinho**  
<yang hong seok  
<no **6:13PM**

**kinope**  
<OOOH  
<FULL NAMED **6:13PM**

**mumseok**  
<i didn’t mean it like that **6:15PM**

**jinho**  
<…hongseok, **6:15PM**

**mumseok**  
<okay i half meant it like that **6:15PM**

**jinho**  
<… **6:15PM**

**mumseok**  
<65% meant it like that **6:15PM**

**jinho**  
<there we go **6:15PM**

**sonseok**  
<LOL **6:15PM**

**mumseok**  
<WHERE is the RESPECT **6:15PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <idk about where to get respect **6:15PM**  
<but the sale was at kmart **6:16PM**

**yan an**  
<this just keeps sounding more and more like  
secondhand embarrassment waiting to  
happen **6:16PM**  
<what was the sale for **6:17PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <80% off all lighting  
<while stocks last **6:17PM**

**sinwon**  
<why in the  
<why were you excited about a lighting sale  
<there’s nothing exciting about a lighting  
sale **6:18PM**

**mumseok**  
<all sales are exciting regardless of the specifics  
<plus who doesn’t like cheap homewares **6:18PM**

**yeo ho ho**  
<exactly **6:18PM**

**sinwon**  
<maybe jinho and yan an should be making a plan  
to deal with their home accessory hoarding spouses  
together **6:18PM**

**yutokyo**  
<before they find themselves in the middle of a  
home accessory related affair and subsequent  
divorce  **6:19PM**

**brojong**  
<what did you buy anyway  
<six desk lamps?? **6:20PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <not exactly **6:21PM**

**jinho**  
<what do you mean  
<not exactly **6:22PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <not exactly  
<as in  
<they’re not DESK lamps **6:22PM**  
</exactly/  
<i guess they COULD be  
<if i tried hard enough **6:23PM**

**yutokyo**  
<dude  
<what did you do **6:23PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <[IMAGE] **6:24PM**

**brojong**  
<that’s  
<a lot of lava lamps **6:24PM**

**sinwon**  
<oh my god  
<this is the best day of my life **6:24PM**

**mumseok**  
<WHY DID YOU GET SO MANY?  
<WHAT THE F **6:24PM**

**yutokyo**  
<judging u **6:24PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <only god can judge me **6:25PM**

**yutokyo**  
<well then someone better get me a meeting with  
the damn pope  
<because i’m judging you SO HARD **6:25PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <in my defence  
<it’s not like i spent that much money  
<with the discount they were like  
<a dollar each **6:25PM**

**yutokyo**  
<and so you bought **6:25PM**  
<i’m counting rn  
<13  
<you bought THIRTEEN lava lamps **6:26PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <yes  
<yes, i did buy 13 lava lamps **6:26PM**

**mumseok**  
<i love lamps  
<but  
<wh y **6:26PM**

**kinope**  
<i think you broke him **6:26PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <sorry hongseok  
<but also  
<yolo **6:26PM**

**sinwon  
** <how did you even get them back to res  
<you don’t have a car **6:26PM**

**sonseok**  
<i do **6:27PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <wooseokie came to pick me up **6:27PM**

**kinope**  
<i thought you said you were embarrassed to know  
him wooseok  
<how did he shake your rock solid convictions **6:27PM**

**sonseok**  
<he said i could have one of his lava lamps  
<i am a simple boy with simple wishes **6:27PM**

**sinwon**  
<not that i don’t support the purchase of many lava  
lamps at heavily discounted prices **6:27PM**  
<because i do  
<but what are you going to do with them all **6:28PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <that’s why i need a powerboard  
<i want to keep them **6:29PM**

**hui**  
<all thirteen  
<?? **6:30PM**

**yeo ho ho**  
<¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
<why not **6:30PM**

**jinho**  
<powerboards only have 5 spots max i think  
<where will you put the other 8 **6:30PM**

**yan an**  
<he could give them as presents **6:31PM**

**brojong**  
<for the record  
<i vote he keeps all of them  
<every dorm room needs character  
<his room’s can be the large stack of lava  
lamps **6:31PM**

**sinwon**  
<don’t the various pictures of himself with hordes  
of tiny cousins give his room enough  
character?? **6:32PM**

**yutokyo**  
<all those baby eyes looking at you  
<all the time  
<that’s not character that’s a cry for help **6:32PM**

**brojong**  
<release their captive souls from rectangle freeze  
window jail **6:33PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <RCTANGELT FREZE WIWNWO DJAEL  
<I JUST SPAT YM ATER EVERYWHER **6:33PM**

**kinope  
** <omf are you okay **6:33PM**

**yeo ho ho  
** <totally dribbled on myself **6:33PM**

**kinope**  
<rip **6:33PM**

**brojong**  
<lmao whoops  
<(rip) **6:33PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \o/


	4. episode 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> many uni students have No Idea how to life responsibly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> jinho - jinho -> pixel dad jinho  
> hwitaek - hui -> king dad hui  
> hongseok - mumseok -> cooking dad hongseok  
> changgu - yeo ho ho -> lord of lamps  
> yanan - yanan -> raggedy (yan an)dy

**dollar shop emerald city**

**sonseok**  
<is anyone up  
<im really bored  
<like  
<super bored **1:15AM**  
<boredius maximus caesar of the boredian empire  
bored **1:16AM**  
<yan an is typing  
<hey yananie **1:17AM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy**  
<given that it’s  
<1:17 in the morning  
<and i know this is probably going to be a  
groundbreaking suggestion  
<but you could be sleeping instead  
<jsyk **1:17AM**

 **sonseok**  
<sleeping is for losers **1:17AM**  
<also i havent finished my tute shit for tomorrow yet  
<and btw  
<hi pot  
<its kettle  
<youre black **1:18AM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy**  
<don’t even **1:18AM**  
<i finished my work while we were watching age of  
ultron  
<because i’m actually able to multitask  
<and i’m not the one who was stupid enough to  
settle for the 8am tute slot  
<i’m allowed to be awake right now **1:19AM**

 **sonseok**  
<ok but like **1:19AM**  
<were not doing the same degree  
<you cant draw these equivalencies dude **1:20AM**  
<youve also already seen aou like  
<7 times   
<you didnt need to concentrate  
<debunked  
<incorrect buzzer noise **1:21AM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy**  
<that is 120% not my point  
<and you’re also a hypocrite  
<nvm that though  
<how much do you have left **1:21AM**

 **sonseok**  
<im on the last one **1:22AM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy**  
<of how many **1:22AM**

 **sonseok**  
<6  
<why are YOU awake then anie **1:22AM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy**  
<ate too much chocolate after dinner  
<so im rewatching the kim bok joo ending arc  
episodes  
<finish up and go the hell to sleep okay **1:23AM**

 **sonseok**  
<yes dad **1:23AM**

\----

**dollar shop emerald city**

**sonseok**  
<im taking a nap  
<nobody bother me **3:03PM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy**  
<maybe if you’d finished your work at a decent time  
you wouldn’t be this sleepy at 3 in the  
afternoon **3:05PM**

 **sonseok**  
<DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE **3:06PM**

 **yutokyo**  
<don’t draw attention to yourself  
<hui might see and go all responsible ra on  
you **3:07PM**

 **king dad hui**  
<too late  
<so, wooseokie… **3:09PM**

 **sonseok**  
<DFJGSDHFK  
<IM NOT HERE IM NAPPING GOODBYE **3:10PM**

 **kinope  
** <i hear him going down the stairs  
<this should be fun **3:10PM**

\----

**dollar shop emerald city**

**king dad hui  
** <ok children  
<i’ve got some ra things i have to do so i’m going to  
be unreachable for the next couple of hours  
<jinho is de facto house boss while I’m  
gone **6:43PM**

 **lord of lamps  
** <okie dokie **6:43PM**

 **brojong  
** <no probbles bobbles  
<see you later huihui **6:43PM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy  
** <bye dad  
<don’t work too hard **6:44PM**

 **king dad hui**  
<thanks kiddo **6:44PM**

 **pixel dad jinho  
** <hui gave me the keys to the laundry cupboard  
<and everything else that there are keys for  
<so if you need any of that stuff  
<yes **7:59PM**

 **cooking dad hongseok  
** <eloquent **7:59PM**

 **pixel dad jinho  
** <thanks **7:59PM**

 **sinwon  
** <if jinho is ra while hui is gone  
<then  
<who is  
<whatever jinho usually is **8:00PM**

 **pixel dad jinho  
** <i nominate hongseok **8:00PM**

 **brojong  
** <hongseok **8:00PM**

 **lord of lamps  
** <hongseok **8:00PM**

 **raggedy (yan an)dy  
** <hongseok **8:00PM**

 **sonseok  
** <hongseok **8:00PM**

 **cooking dad hongseok  
** <me **8:00PM**

 **kinope  
** <hongseok **8:00PM**

 **yutokyo  
** <hongseok **8:00PM**

 **sinwon  
** <does that mean hongseok has to like  
<knee walk everywhere **8:01PM**

 **pixel dad jinho  
** <i will fight you, shinwon. **8:01PM**

 **sinwon**  
<because that would make sense **8:01PM**

 **pixel dad jinho**  
<shinwon **8:01PM**

 **sinwon**  
<i’m sorry **8:01PM**

\----

**hyojong, yuto**

**yuto**  
<ffffuckign oh my god **10:04PM**

 **hyojong**  
<you okay there my guy **10:04PM**

 **yuto**  
<no  
<no i am not  
<everything is kill bill sirens **10:04PM**

 **hyojong**  
<oh damn  
<kill bill sirens  
<what happened **10:04PM**  
<dude  
<you there **10:14PM**

 **yuto**  
<well **10:17PM**  
<ok so **10:19PM**  
<well **10:20PM**  
<with a frame of reference or whatever the fuck it’s  
called of like  
<three weeks  
<or however long it’s been idfk **10:21PM**

 **hyojong  
** <3 weeks is about right **10:21PM**

 **yuto**  
<with a frame of reference of 3 weeks what’s an  
acceptable amount of time in those weeks to  
like **10:23PM**  
<be right in the middle of like **10:24PM**  
<crushy **10:25PM**

 **hyojong**  
<oh **10:25PM**

 **yuto**  
<crush emotions **10:25PM**

 **hyojong**  
<oh boy **10:25PM**

 **yuto**  
<and stuff **10:25PM**  
<yeah **10:26PM**

 **hyojong**  
<are you sure you want me to be helping you with  
this shit **10:26PM**  
<you know i’m bad at advice right **10:27PM**

 **yuto**  
<yes  
<please  
<help me **10:27PM**

 **hyojong**  
<ok first of all  
<is it someone in green  
<actually wait no don’t tell me **10:28PM**

 **yuto**  
<okay??  
<how is this helping me  
<this is the opposite of helping me  
<this is like  
<repressing me **10:28PM**

 **hyojong**  
<dude  
<chill **10:28PM**  
<i’m coming downstairs  
<it’ll be better for everyone if there’s no written  
record of our little chitchat **10:29PM**

 **yuto**  
<what is this, an afp informant  
consultation?? **10:29PM**

 **hyojong**  
<don’t question my methods  
<i am a vault of secrets for a reason **10:29PM**

 **yuto**  
<you’re a vault of secrets because you’re a nosy  
son of a dick **10:30PM**

 **hyojong**  
<well  
<yeah  
<but also because i know the best way to keep  
secrets is to not write them down  
anywhere **10:30PM**

 **yuto**  
<if you don’t stop singing the blues clues we just  
got a letter song i’m not letting you in **10:35PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't mean for this to become a ship-inclusive fic but i guess that's the direction it's headed in. 
> 
> for some context, the blues clues we just got a letter song sounds like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3P5xtrjcBg).
> 
> i'm sorry this chapter took so long to get done with no notice from me. first it was writer's block, and then i was trying my best to be a responsible uni student and NOT be like our friend wooseok. 
> 
> on that note, i make no promises about going back to a semi-regular posting schedule. i've caught up with my uni work, but now i want to stay caught up and also get good marks on the assignments i have coming up. please forgive me.


	5. episode 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how many shots could a kino shoot if a kino could shoot shots
> 
> (of tequila)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> jinho - pixel dad jinho -> pixel dad  
> hwitaek - king dad hui -> king dad  
> hongseok - cooking dad hongseok -> cooking dad  
> hyojong - brojong -> blowjob  
> shinwon - sinwon -> crimson chinwon  
> changgu - lord of lamps -> lamp jesus  
> yanan - raggedy (yan an)dy -> a pink rabbit  
> yuto - yutokyo -> add cheese  
> wooseok - sonseok -> wooper

**hyojong, yuto**

**yuto**  
<i really need help  
<i’m up shit creek **10:47PM**

 **hyojong**  
<is this about  
<you know who **10:47PM**

 **yuto**  
<yES  
<he  
<t h e  h e  
<his shirt si nice today **10:47PM**

 **hyojong**  
<i mean it’s not like i can do anything about it  
<did something happen  
<where are you  
<do you need me **10:48PM**

 **yuto**  
<i don’t think so  
<i’m hiding **10:48PM**

 **hyojong**  
<where??  
<why????? **10:48PM**

 **yuto**  
<in the toilet  
<not in a cubicle in the like  
<sink area  
<u kno  
<actually i had to pee but i’m just hangin out in here  
now cause yuta came while i washing my hands and  
he is here hiding from someone so i’m hiding with  
him now too  
<i forget who he’s hiding from **10:49PM**

 **hyojong**  
<hi yuta **10:49PM**

 **yuto**  
<he says yojong looool  
<i always think its funny how i yuto made friends  
with someone called yuta  
<the odds **10:49PM**  
<what are they **10:50PM**

 **hyojong**  
<that’s a good one  
<buy him a drink for it i’ll pay you back later  
<don’t forget to drink water tho  
<water is important **10:50PM**

 **yuto**  
<omg really  
<yeeees daaaad **10:50PM**

 **hyojong**  
<yeah lol  
<good boy my son **10:50PM**

 **yuto  
** <thanks dude  
<i’ll do it now bc illforget lmao  
<ttyl **10:50PM**

 **hyojong**  
<cya **10:50PM**

\--------

**le boogré**

**a pink rabbit**  
<Good morning!  
<Does anyone know where the remote is? **8:30AM**

 **wooper**  
<mornin  
<bathroom i think **8:30AM**

 **add cheese**  
<morning  
<it’s next to the sink in the bathroom **8:30AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Why? **8:31AM**

 **add cheese**  
<lightsabre battle **8:31AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<My question stands. **8:31AM**

 **add cheese**  
<last night was a theme night  
<are you REALLY that surprised **8:32AM**

 **pixel dad  
** <You forget where you live, my son. **8:33AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Okay yeah true **8:33AM**

 **add cheese**  
<the dvd player remote is in there too **8:33AM**  
<in case you were wondering **8:34AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<If you know they’re in there, why didn’t you put  
them back where they’re supposed to be? **8:34AM**

 **add cheese**  
<didn’t need them to be where they’re supposed  
to be **8:34AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<That logic is stupid. **8:34AM**

 **add cheese**  
<you’re stupid **8:34AM**

 **pixel dad  
** <Kids. **8:34AM**

 **add cheese**  
<sorry dad **8:34AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Sorry, dad. **8:34AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <why is my display name spanky doodle **9:02AM**  
<why is my profile picture a bedazzled cat asshole  
<what happened to me last night **9:03AM**

 **pixel dad  
** <Bambam and Junhong from pink, among other  
things. **9:03AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <i’m gonna be sick **9:03AM**

 **add cheese**  
<who even is that **9:03AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <hyunggu  
<he who feels like shit **9:03AM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Alcohol does that.  
<You definitely didn’t drink enough water last  
night. **9:04AM**

 **spanky doodle**  
<my throat hurts **9:04AM**

 **wooper**  
<thatll be the karaoke coming back to bite you in  
the ass **9:04AM**  
<you killed mirotic btw **9:05AM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<hyunggu sang??  
<hyunggu sang /TVXQ/???  
<pics or it didn’t happen **9:05AM**

 **wooper**  
<[IMAGE] **9:05AM**  
<[IMAGE] **9:06AM**  
<[VIDEO] **9:07AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <that’s  
<not my waistcoat  
<and where did my shirt go **9:07AM**  
<actually that question is still valid  
<i can’t find it anywhere  
<i’m gonna lie back down now **9:09AM**

 **wooper**  
<no its not  
<you requested one for your performance **9:09AM**  
<you took your shirt off so you could be  
<quote  
<’immersed in the aesthetic’  
<which barely makes sense **9:10AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <holy shit  
<were there any girls there **9:10AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<What the fuck are you talking about?  
<This isn’t an inner city boy’s school.  
<Of course there were girls there, you  
idiot. **9:10AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <you shut the fuck up  
<i’m conducting an important investigation  
<how many girls were still conscious after **9:10AM**

 **wooper**  
<all of them **9:10AM**  
<but half of them did look like they wanted to suck  
his dick **9:11AM**  
<so theres that **9:12AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <oh damn **9:12AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <i hate you  
<both of you **9:12AM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<maybe we should be calling you mike instead of  
kino **9:12AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <what **9:12AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <magic mike  
<for your killer dance moves **9:12AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <i’m gonna flush your lucky socks down the bad  
toilet  
<fuck you **9:12AM**

 **wooper**  
<ok that seems  
<over aggressive **9:13AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <suck my entire gluteus maximus **9:13AM**

 **cooking dad**  
<kids  
<leave him alone **9:13AM**

 **spanky doodle  
** <thanks mum  
<good morning also **9:13AM**

 **wooper**  
<goodest of mornings mother **9:14AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <morning mama **9:14AM**

 **cooking dad  
** <oh jeez **9:15AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <you’re supposed to say good morning mack  
<*back **9:15AM**

 **wooper**  
<YEAH FUCK YOU MUM **9:15AM**

 **cooking dad  
** <[Hongseok will remember you said that.] **9:16AM**

 **king dad**  
<don’t speak that way to your mother **9:16AM**

 **lamp jesus  
** <Oh good!! All our parents are awake!!  
<Maybe now the yelling will stop. **9:16AM**

 **add cheese**  
<when did you even get in here **9:16AM**

 **king dad**  
<ok show of hands  
<who’s hungover **9:17AM**

 **cooking dad  
** <hui the overachieving ra strikes again **9:17AM**

 **lamp jesus  
** <A bit ago  
<I muted chat because I was doing prep study for  
my lecture today.  
<But I was lurking!! **9:17AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Oh yeah, I was gonna ask.  
<Are we still gonna have lunch after world  
econ? **9:18AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <it’s 9 in the goddamn morning can you behave like  
a normal 20 year old and not be studying **9:18AM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<Yeah!! I’ll shout if you want.  
<Mum zapped over an extra 25 dollars for food this  
week. **9:19AM**

 **add cheese  
** <lecture prep study  
<at 9am  
<stop showing us all up fuckin damn **9:19AM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<I love your mum. **9:20AM**

 **king dad**  
<can we stay on task please  
<hungover  
<who is **9:20AM**

 **blowjob**  
<i knew muting chat last night was a good  
idea **9:22AM**

 **pixel dad  
** <You muted chat so you could watch jacksepticeye  
videos in peace.  
<I have the receipts. **9:22AM**

 **blowjob  
** <well like  
<yes  
<but it has also had the fortuitous side effect of me  
not waking up and having to deal with a kajillion  
notifications **9:22AM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <you old grandpa **9:22AM**

 **king dad**  
<HELLO **9:22AM**  
<IS THIS THING ON **9:23AM**  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<[STICKER]  
<WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING TO ME **9:24AM**

 **blowjob  
** <oh hey hui hui  
<didn’t see you there **9:24AM**

 **king dad  
** <i hate you the most **9:24AM**

 **blowjob**  
<D^8 **9:24AM**

 **king dad**  
<anyway  
<now that i have everyone’s attention **9:24AM**

 **blowjob**  
<D  ^ , 8 **9:25AM**

 **pixel dad**  
<You probably don’t, but   
<Go on. **9:25AM**

 **king dad**  
<why can’t you be supportive of my endeavours  
<you’re the only one here who knows what it’s  
like **9:25AM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Because it’s funny, mostly.  
<Also because I need to stay hip hap hoppening  
with the youths. **9:25AM**

 **cooking dad**  
<you’re embarrassing me **9:26AM**

 **pixel dad**  
<:-* **9:26AM**

 **cooking dad**  
<…  
<:-* **9:26AM**

 **king dad**  
<can you just  
<you know what i don’t even care  
<ANYWAY  
<i have juice  
<anyone who actually respects me is free to come  
and get some **9:28AM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for your patience, guys. again, i make no promises about when the next episode will be up.


	6. episode 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they left changgu unsupervised, what did they expect would happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> hyojong - blowjob -> yojong  
> hyunggu - spanky doodle -> sober bob

**Woolworths** **™**

**\----Tuesday, 21 March 2017----**

**king dad**  
<to keep everyone who wasn’t at the house meeting  
up to speed  
<tomorrow there’s going to be sort of a mini expo  
<free and cheap office supplies for the billions of  
pages of notes administration thinks first years  
take **3:00PM  
** <plus a few local businesses will be there handing  
out job applications for people who decide they have  
too much free time or something  
<you can use me as a character reference if you want  
<also i’m pretty sure some of us work at some of the  
places who are going to be there **3:01PM**  
<which helps **3:02PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<(like me for example)  
<also, **3:02PM**

 **king dad**  
<yeah like shinwonnie **3:02PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<my manager said that if you put me as one of those  
like **3:02PM  
** <‘do you have a friend who works here’  
<it helps your chances of an interview  
<because in theory i know who you are as a person  
and i can talk you up and shit **3:03PM**

 **lamp jesus  
** <In theory?? **3:03PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<yeah in theory  
<but you’re all assholes  
<i don’t wanna work with you  
<probably make some stuff up so you get blacklisted  
forever **3:03PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<D’8 **3:03PM**

 **cooking dad  
** <shinwon ,,., **3:04PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<what **3:04PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Shinwon, that’s very rude. **3:04PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<…  
<sorry changgu **3:04PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<And? **3:04PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<…  
<… **3:04PM  
** <sorry hongseok **3:05PM**

 **yojong**  
<don’t badmouth jobs hui  
<you have a job **3:07PM**

 **king dad**  
<okay yeah you’re right  
<also technically i have two  
<i get paid for being an ra lmao **3:07PM**

 **yojong**  
<you what now  
<why did i not already know this  
<i’ve been shouting you burgers at maccas for a  
whole month  
<whole MEALS  
<out of SYMPATHY **3:07PM**

 **king dad**  
<yes you have **3:07PM**

 **yojong**  
<you giant bag of dicks **3:08PM**

 **wooper**  
<…interesting **3:09PM**

 **king dad**  
<don’t get your hopes up kiddo  
<it goes towards rent and like  
<general stuff for you guys  
<it’s how i afford all the juice and cookies **3:09PM**

 **wooper  
** <ok but **3:09PM**

 **king dad**  
<it’s not optional **3:09PM**

 **wooper  
** <balls **3:09PM**

 **add cheese**  
<wooseok i love your enthusiasm but you’d be a  
terrible ra  
<no offense **3:10PM**

 **wooper**  
<guess what fucko  
<im offended **3:10PM  
** <state your case you dickcheese **3:11PM**

 **add cheese**  
<you asked for it  
<you don’t know what a study timetable is  
<your assignments are always done last minute  
<you lose your keycard all the time  
<last week you somehow forgot how to use the  
washing machine even though you definitely know  
how it works  
<should i kep going  
<*keep **3:11PM**

 **wooper**  
<ok listen **3:11PM**

 **add cheese**  
<i’m just saying **3:12PM**  
<if you really wanna look after people you gotta be  
able to look after yourself first **3:13PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<deep **3:13PM**

 **wooper**  
<did you have to roast me where theres an audience  
<my manhood yuto  
<youve hurt him **3:14PM**

 **add cheese**  
<you literally asked me to roast you  
<everyone saw it **3:14PM  
** <everyone saw that right **3:15PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<I saw. **3:15PM**

 **sober bob**  
<fight fight fight **3:15PM**

 **wooper**  
<shut up kino **3:15PM**

\----

 **lamp jesus**  
<I have  
<Made a mistake. **6:00PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<oh jeez  
<what did you do this time **6:03PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<YANAN DON’T TELL THEM!!  
<I see you typing!! **6:03PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<*makes innocent face*  
<Typing? Me? Not at all! **6:03PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<changgu  
<what did you do **6:07PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<[IMAGE] **6:08PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS **6:08PM**

 **add cheese**  
<oh my FUCKING god changgu **6:08PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<it’s not loading rip   
<what is it **6:08PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<You know how they were giving out the ring binder  
folder things for free?? **6:09PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<yes  
<oh  
<oh no **6:09PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Oh, yes.  
<He got 6.  
<SIX. **6:09PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<IT’S GOOD VALUE, OKAY?? **6:09PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<YOU DON’T NEED THEM.  
<WHY DO YOU ALAWYS FO TJIS?  
<WHY? **6:09PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<SEE ABOVE!! **6:09PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<THAT IS SUBPAR JUSTIFICATION AND YOU KNOW  
IT. **6:09PM**

 **lamp jesus  
** <DON’T HATE ON ME FOR HAVING A GOOD TIME,  
YANAN!! **6:10PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<I’m not hating on you for having a good time, I’m  
hating on you for being an idiot. **6:10PM**

 **yojong**  
<i mean that’s pretty solid **6:17PM**

 **king dad  
** <i concur **6:17PM**

 **lamp jesus**  
<Can I have some peace?? **6:17PM**

 **add cheese  
** <no **6:17PM**

\--------

 _Yanan_ created a new group

 _Yanan_ added _hongseok_ , _hui_ , _hyojong_ , _Jinho_ , _kino_ ,  
_shinwon_ , _wooseok_ and _yuto_ to the group

 _Yanan_ changed the group name to **Changgu’s bday**

 **Yanan**  
<Alright, so.  
<Hopefully everyone knows that it’s Changgu’s  
birthday next Monday? **6:20PM**

 **hyojong  
** <yup **6:21PM**

 **kino**  
<i actually did not **6:21PM**

 **Yanan**  
<If you didn’t, now you do.  
<Anyway, I’m putting myself in charge of birthday  
prep.  
<I have a list of some things that need to be  
organised… **6:21PM**

 **yuto  
** <of course you have a list **6:22PM**

 **Yanan**  
<Shut up, Yuto. **6:22PM  
** <Okay, found it! So firstly, is everyone cool with  
going to the Kinross Woolshed for dinner? **6:23PM**

 **hyojong  
** <HELL YEAH I AM **6:23PM**

 **Jinho  
** <^ **6:23PM**

 **Yanan**  
<I’m going to guess by the general lack of response  
and multiple read receipts that that’s the general  
sentiment and move on to question two. **6:24PM**

 **shinwon**  
<so sassy **6:24PM**

 **Yanan**  
<Silence, fool.  
<Would everyone be able to spare… **6:24PM**

 **yuto  
** <get rekt shinwon **6:24PM**

 **Yanan  
** <$5.00?  
<For a present for him from Green House? **6:24PM  
** <Shut UP, Yuto. **6:25PM**

 **yuto**  
<someone’s pmsing **6:25PM**

 _Yanan_ removed _yuto_ from the group.

 **Yanan**  
<I’m so telling Momo and Sana he said that. **6:25PM  
** <Does anyone else have inappropriate sexist  
comments they would like to make? **6:26PM**

 **shinwon**  
<no sir **6:26PM**

 **hyojong**  
<oh my fuck he’s gonna be eviscerated **6:26PM**

 **Yanan**  
<Exactly (:  
<So, five bucks each sound good to  
everyone? **6:26PM**

 **shinwon**  
<yes sir **6:26PM**

 **Yanan**  
<Bonus:  
<I want to take him out for birthday drinks as well,  
but obviously that sort of thing is contingent on  
how he’s feeling.  **6:27PM**  
<So keep that in mind and try not to make plans  
PLEASE! **6:28PM**

 **hyojong  
** <no problem boblem **6:28PM**


	7. episode 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seriously though why are textbooks so expensive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> hyunggu (kino) - sober bob -> kiki

**Woolworths** **™**

**\----Friday, 24 March 2017----**

**add cheese  
** <i’m so poor  
<like so so poor **12:49PM**

 **king dad  
** <did you finally get around to buying your  
textbooks **12:50PM**

 **add cheese  
** <yup  
<i have six dollars in my bank account  
<i mean i have centrelink coming  
<but that’s like **12:50PM**

 **cooking dad  
** <didn’t you use your last centrelink payment to BUY  
these textbooks **12:51PM**

 **add cheese  
** <exactly yeah  
<which means i have to survive on six dollars for the  
next 2 weeks  
<so basically **12:51PM**  
<kill me  
<preferably before i starve to death **12:52PM**

 **wooper  
** <you cant be killed AFTER youve starved to death  
though **12:52PM**

 **add cheese**  
<exactly **12:52PM**

 **king dad**  
<there’s no need for proclamations of imminent  
starvation **12:53PM**  
<this is what meal credits are for **12:54PM**

 **add cheese**  
<oh yeah lmao  
<i forgot about meal credits  
<thanks hui **12:54PM**

 **king dad**  
<that’s what i’m here for! **12:54PM**

 **add cheese**  
<<3 **12:54PM**

 **king dad**  
<<3 **12:55PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Hey, Yuto? **1:02PM**

 **add cheese**  
<yeah dad **1:04PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Have you eaten lunch yet? **1:04PM**

 **add cheese**  
<i had an apple **1:04PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Unacceptable!  
<I’ll meet you at the G in ten minutes. **1:04PM**

 **add cheese**  
<aw thanks dad **1:04PM**

 **wooper  
** <can i come **1:05PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Have you eaten lunch? **1:05PM**

 **wooper  
** <yes **1:05PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Then no. **1:05PM**

 **wooper  
** <:( **1:05PM**  
<do you think we could ask around for a group  
sugar daddy  
<is that a thing **1:13PM**  
<maybe theres a millionaire somewhere who feels  
like doing a service for the community??  
<i dont fuckin know man **1:14PM**

 **add cheese  
** <i don’t think that’s how it works **1:15PM**  
<sugar daddies are like  
<a sex thing **1:16PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<I am somehow still surprised that you know so  
much about ‘sex things’. **1:17PM**

 **add cheese  
** <i guess some of them must be down for multiple  
sugar babies??  
<like. sugar baby threesomes **1:19PM  
** <statistically speaking there’s at least one guy who is  
sugar daddy material and wants a threesome with his  
multiple sugar babies  
<can you crowdfund to hire a sugar daddy  
<and jinho  
<everyone and their great grandmama florencina  
knows that sugar daddies are a sex thing  
<this is not bi news  
<*big **1:20PM**

 **yojong**  
<for the record  
</i/ am big bi news **1:23PM**

 **wooper  
** <yewww **1:23PM**

 **yojong**  
<;-) **1:23PM**

 **a pink rabbit  
** <Crowdfunding is literally the exact opposite of a  
sugar daddy. **1:23PM**

 **add cheese**  
<ok look i don’t see you coming up with any  
solutions **1:24PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<i think your best bet would be to find someone else  
who goes here and is loaded  
<rich family or something idk **1:27PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Are you volunteering?  
<You get paid the most out of all of us. **1:28PM**  
<If any of us had the potential to be a sugar daddy, it  
would be you. **1:29PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Low budget sugar daddy? **1:29PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<first of all i get 20 dollars an hour **1:29PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Yes, and you have a shift every weekday for at least  
5 hours.  
<Definitely falls into the category of low budget  
sugar daddy. **1:29PM**

 **crimson chinwon  
** <will you shut up  
<second of all if i was gonna be anyone’s sugar  
daddy it would NOT be yuto  
<i have standards that he doesn’t meet **1:29PM**

 **add cheese**  
<ouch man  
<what is my dick not pretty enough for you **1:30PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<i give it a 4/10  
<my standard sits at about an 8 **1:30PM**

 **yojong**  
<assertive  
<daddy af **1:30PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Daddy~! **1:30PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<stop **1:30PM**

 **yojong**  
<i’m actually realy hungry **1:41PM**  
<hey shinwon **1:42PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<…oh god  
<what **1:45PM**

 **yojong  
** <how lng do I need to suck your dick for you to buy  
me a cheeseburge  
<r **1:45PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<STOP oh my god **1:45PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Buy me pretty things, daddy~! **1:45PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<i hate both of you for this whole situation **1:45PM**  
<this whole situation for existing  
<and myself for not expecting the conversation to  
head down this road **1:46PM**

 **yojong**  
<yeah you really shouldn’t think so highly of  
us **1:46PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<I leave the three of you unsupervised for five  
minutes… **1:46PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<please help me jinho  
<pleas e **1:46PM**

 **kiki  
** <what are we talking about  
<oh  
<oh mygo d **1:49PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<KINO **1:49PM  
** <HYUNGGU HELP ME **1:50PM**

 **kiki**  
<sugar daddy shinwon  
<what a concept  
<how do you address a sugar daddy  
<formally i mean  
<like  
<if i wanted to address a letter to my sugar daddy  
<at the very beginning of the relationship  
<before we get familiar with each other **1:50PM  
** <what would i use **1:51PM**

 **add cheese  
** <what the fuck are you talking about **1:51PM**

 **kiki**  
<mr?  
<master? **1:51PM**

 **add cheese**  
<ohh **1:51PM**

 **kiki**  
<your honour? **1:51PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<kino **1:51PM  
** <how could you  
<i was counting on you  
<and you let me down **1:52PM**

 **add cheese**  
<pappy? **1:52PM**

 **a pink rabbit  
** <You’re thinking of sugar granddaddies. **1:52PM**

 **add cheese  
** <ah yes **1:52PM  
** <(old man voice) if you’re a good boy for grandpappy  
you can have a fruit tingle **1:53PM**  
<(old man voice) i love the way you look when you’re  
recalibrating my oxygen tank **1:54PM**  
<(old man voice) that’s my pretty grandbaby **1:55PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<I HATE ALL OF YOU SO MUHC **1:55PM**

 **a pink rabbit  
** <What do you call your sugar daddy when you’re…  
<Well acquainted? **1:55PM**

 **lamp jesus  
** <By his name presumably **1:55PM**

 **kiki  
** <or daddy **1:55PM**

 **a pink rabbit**  
<Oh, yeah. Good point. **1:55PM**

 **add cheese  
** <captain big dick **1:56PM**

 **crimson chinwon**  
<jesus fucking christ **2:00PM**

\----

**hyojong, shinwon**

**hyojong  
** <hey shinwon **1:07AM**

 **shinwon  
** <for christ’s sake hyojong what now **1:11AM**

 **hyojong  
** <you know how you said yuto isn’t your type for a  
sugar baby **1:11AM**

 **shinwon  
** <uh **1:11AM**  
<yeah i guess i did say that **1:13AM**

 **hyojong  
** <my question is  
<who is **1:13AM**

 **shinwon**  
<none of your goddamn business you nosy  
dickbutt **1:13AM**

 **hyojong**  
<ooh  
<spicy **1:13AM**


	8. episode 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sufferings of yeo changgu, birthday edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> yeo one - lamp jesus -> folder jesus -> THE BDAY BOY!  
> yanan - a pink rabbit -> yananastasia

**Woolworths** **™**

**\--------Sunday, 26 March 2017--------**

**folder jesus**  
<I’m so tired >_<  
<Can I PLEASE just go to bed?? **11:32PM**

 **yananastasia**  
<NOOOO! **11:32PM**  
<It’s not midnight yet!  
<We have to wish you a happy birthday at midnight!  
<Thhat’s just how these things work! **11:33PM**  
<I don’t make the birthday rules. **11:34PM**

 **add cheese**  
<you just enforce them **11:35PM**

 **yananastasia**  
<Exactyly **11:35PM**

 **folder jesus**  
<You can’t even type coherently  
<We should DEFINITELY just go to sleep **11:35PM**

 **yananastasia**  
<Don’t testme.  
<Not oone word. **11:36PM**

 **yojong**  
<quick question  
<if we’re all awake rn  
<which i assume we are  
<why are we doing this here **11:36PM**

 **add cheese**  
<excellent point **11:36PM**

 **yojong**  
<TO THE COMMON ROOM **11:36PM**

 **folder jesus**  
<Can’t I just sleep?? **11:36PM**

 **yananastasia**  
<No. **11:36PM**

 **add cheese**  
<no **11:37PM**

 **folder jesus**  
< D’8 **11:37PM**

\--------

**\--------Monday, 27 March 2017--------**

**pixel dad**  
<Why is it that whenever we go out to eat, we always  
lose Hyojong?  
<How does he ALWAYS disappear? **7:09PM**

 **king dad**  
<he’s somewhere, don’t worry about it  
<come back to the table **7:11PM**  
<there’s no point looking for him **7:12PM**

 **yojong**  
<aw are you guys worried about me **7:12PM**

 **king dad**  
<pfft no  
<where are you though **7:12PM**

 **yojong**  
<you’re totally worried about me **7:12PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<We’re always worried about you, you nerd.  
<Your resting face is “spaced out and/or  
confused”. **7:13PM**

 **king dad**  
<don’t expose me **7:13PM**

 **yojong**  
<… **7:13PM**

 **king dad**  
<hyojongie  
<pls **7:13PM**

 **yojong**  
<i only went the next block over to say hi to a dog i  
know  
<i’ll be right with you  
<promise **7:14PM**

 **king dad  
** <of course it was a dog **7:14PM**

 **yojong**  
<[PHOTO] **7:14PM**  
<her name is mishika  
<she’s fluffy and i love her **7:15PM**

 **wooper**  
<well be there soon were like  
<5 minutes away? **7:17PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<Is Changgu with you? **7:17PM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<Yes hello!!  
<I’m here!!  
<In the car!!  
<Yanan’s driving  
<He says hi!! **7:18PM**

 **wooper**  
<^  
<also btw  
<you guys  
<stop fucking around  
<just go out with each other already  
<jesus christ **7:18PM**

 **yojong**  
<well  
<that was direct **7:19PM**

 **king dad**  
<wooseokie  
<my child  
<my tiniest most innocent of beans **7:19PM**  
<hate to break it to you but hyojongie dearest  
already has a significant other **7:20PM**

 **wooper**  
<what **7:24PM**

 **yojong**  
<huihui dearest is correct **7:24PM**

 **wooper**  
<but  
<the  
<all the gay **7:24PM**

 **yojong**  
<take your time  
<i know this must be a lot to process **7:24PM**

 **wooper**  
<WHAT THE FUCK **7:25PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<told you you should’ve invited her over before  
now **7:25PM**

 **wooper  
** <i need a drink **7:25PM**

\--------

**hyojong, hyuna**

**hyojong**  
<[SCREENSHOT] **7:25PM**

 **hyuna**  
<you meanie oh my god **7:31PM**

 **hyojong**  
<lolololol  
<i’ll make it up to him  
<i gtg we’re having dinner for changgu’s  
birthday **7:31PM**  
<skype later?  
<i miss you :( **7:32PM**

 **hyuna**  
<aw  
<you big cheeseball  
<love to xx **7:32PM**

 **hyojong**  
<love you xx **7:32PM**

 **hyuna**  
<[LINGERIE PHOTO] **7:33PM**

 **hyojong**  
<BABE   
<WHY **7:33PM**

 **hyuna**  
<:-* **7:33PM**

 **hyojong**  
<permission to spank bank **7:33PM**

 **hyuna**  
<denied **7:33PM**

 **hyojong**  
<this saddens me but i respect and accept  
it **7:33PM**

\--------

 **Woolworths** **™**

**\--------Tuesday, 28 March 2017--------**

**THE BDAY BOY!  
** <So I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus **11:37AM**

 **yojong**  
<welcome to the post birthday uni  
experience **11:40AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY**  
<Can we turn down the sun **11:42AM  
** <Is that a thing we can do **11:43AM**

 **yojong**  
<aren’t your blinds closed  
<i definitely closed them when i put you to  
bed **11:43AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<Yes  
<They are definitely still closed **11:43AM**  
<But mr sun said  
<Fuck you and your blinds  
<There is a gap here and I am exploiting it  
<I hope you like burned retinas fucko **11:44AM**

 **yojong  
** <rip **11:44AM**

 **cooking dad**  
<how are you hungover though  
<six different people made you drink a glass of  
water before we let you go to sleep **11:44AM  
** <me included **11:45AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<It’s a mystery to me **11:45AM**  
<Maybe the amount of alcohol I consumed was too  
much for the 3L of water **11:46AM**

 **yojong  
** <probably **11:46AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<Here’s a predicament **11:47AM**  
<I’m hungry  
<But if I get up  
<I fear I will vomit **11:48AM**  
<EVERYWHERE **11:49AM**

 **cooking dad  
** <thanks for that **11:49AM**

 **wooper**  
<how can you possibly be hungry  
<you drunk ate like  
<7 pieces of toast before you went to  
bed **11:53AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!  
** <Go back to sleep I didn’t ask you **11:53AM**

 **wooper**  
<im in class **11:53AM**  
<do you even know what time it is  
<you absolute mess of a human bean **11:54AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<Well then focus on your learning **11:54AM**  
<Leave me alone to rot  
<I’ll just waste away **11:55AM**  
<Unable to eat **11:56AM**  
<No water to drink **11:57AM**

 **yananastasia  
** <You can’t reach your water bottle, can you. **11:57AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<ITS JUST OUT OF REAHC **11:58AM**  
<I HATE THIS GARBAGE BODY **11:59AM**

 **yojong  
** <did you just fucking fall out of bed **11:59AM**

 **THE BDAY BOY!**  
<I guess I’m dying on the carpet instead of in  
my bed **12:00PM**

 **yojong  
** <big mood **12:00PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coughs up dust and grave dirt after resurrecting myself HELLO I AM BACK WITH ANOTHER EPISODE OF GARBAGE.TXT
> 
> i had this quite literally half finished for a gazillion years and then finally today i had enough wind in my sails to get 'er done
> 
> I'M SORRY TO THE HUIDAWNERS I AM ALSO A HUIDAWNER BUT. HYUNA AND HYOJONG
> 
> on the subject of hyojong, i hope i didn't make him super ooc in this ep?? i don't feel like i did but i also feel like i toed the line a bit too close. if you guys could give me your opinions on that, that'd be SWELL
> 
> also i once had an experience like changgu's i had the worst hangover on a day when i had to do a group assignment and i was a useless potato i just sat on the couch at the library feeling sorry for myself while the others looked for books lmao
> 
> EDIT 8/9/17: are there any shenanigans you guys wanna see bc i can only come with so many plot points on my own


	9. episode 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jinho the roasted potato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> jinho - pixel dad -> fake wine dad  
> shinwon - crimson chinwon -> shinwon  
> yeo one - THE BDAY BOY! -> Changgu!!  
> yuto - add cheese -> not nakamoto  
> wooseok - wooper -> noodles

**Woolworths** **™**

**\--------Thursday, 30 March 2017--------**

**noodles**  
<oh my god okay so  
<you know how i went to that thing as jinhos plus  
1 **7:45PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<I really, REALLY hate you. **7:45PM**

 **noodles**  
<yes i know  
<let me tell my story **7:45PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<is this why he locked himself in his  
room **7:45PM**

 **pixel dad**  
<He’s hiding from justice. -.- **7:45PM**

 **noodles**  
<im sorry that i dont want you to ground me FAKE  
WINE DAD **7:45PM  
** <you know what **7:46PM**

 **pixel dad  
** <What?  
<Wait  
<Don’t you dare.  
<WOOSEOK **7:46PM**

 _noodles_ changed _jinho_ ’s display name to _fake wine  
dad_

 **fake wine dad**  
<WOOSEOK NO.  
<Oh  
<Dammit. **7:46PM**

 **kiki**  
<why don’t you just change it back? **7:46PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<Ask Hui. **7:46PM**

 **Changgu!!**  
<Since when does Hui instigate anything?? **7:46PM**

 **king dad**  
<^_^ **7:46PM  
** <I made him promise a promise  
<there’s a penalty if he changes his display name  
away from something embarrassing on his  
own **7:47PM**

 **yojong**  
<when hui instigates hui instigates big **7:47PM**

 **yananastasia**  
<This is tiny, what are you talking about? **7:47PM**

 **yojong**  
<it’s big for hui **7:47PM**

 **king dad**  
<I’m a goody two shoes **7:47PM**

 **yojong**  
<can we maybe get some context though  
<from wooseok idc about jinho or hui **7:47PM**

 **king dad**  
<under other circumstances that would offend  
me **7:47PM**

 **noodles**  
<im getting to it **7:48PM**  
<jeez  
<so i was at this formal function  
<there was a bunch of adults there **7:49PM**

 **yananastasia  
** <You’re an adult. **7:49PM**

 **noodles**  
<adultier adults  
<anyway  
<there was a bunch of adults there  
<and since there was a bunch of adults  
<and this was an 18+ event only  
<there was the alcomahol **7:49PM**

 **Changgu!!**  
<The what?? **7:49PM**

 **kiki**  
<alcohol, changgu  
<alcohol **7:49PM**

 **noodles**  
<yes  
<anyway so there was the alcomahol **7:49PM  
** <ofc since there are some adults who don’t drink  
<for whatever reason  
<i don’t judge  
<there was also a selection of non alcoholic  
bevvies **7:50PM**

 **yananastasia**  
<The language you use is genuinely embarrassing at  
times. **7:50PM**

 **noodles**  
<im secretly a middle aged footy mum  
<also u shut up i bet you dont even know what oomf  
means  
<ANYWAY  
<there was water and a ton of juices and ribena  
<this is important **7:50PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<I can’t be here for this. **7:50PM  
** <I won’t watch myself be humiliated. **7:51PM**

 **noodles**  
<lmao  
<bye wad  
<(wine dad) **7:51PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<I hate you so much. **7:51PM**

 **noodles**  
<you said that  
<so anyway there was ribena  
<and dear ol pappy jinno was like  
<i gotta impress these old people  
<so they give me money **7:51PM**

 **Changgu!!**  
<I think I see where this is going **7:51PM**

 **noodles**  
<but bc pappy jinno is a sensible boy  
<instead of wine **7:51PM**

 **yojong**  
<oh yes **7:51PM**

 **noodles**  
<he goes to the refreshments bar  
<and he says  
<pardon me barkeep  
<can i have a ribena  
<bc obviously ribena and red wine look exactly the  
same **7:52PM**

 **shinwon**  
<oh my GOD **7:52PM**

 **noodles**  
<he spent the whole fuckin night schmoozing rich  
people with a wine glass full of ribena  
<and not even a good ratio of ribena  
<i tasted it  
<it tasted like a single drop of syrup mixed with  
sadness **7:52PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<this is the best thing i’ve heard all week **7:52PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING  
<WHY ARE YOU ALL LAUGHING? **7:52PM  
** <STOP LAUGHING AT ME.  
<I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION!  
<AND NOT GET DRUNK **7:53PM**

 **shinwon**  
<have you never heard of nursing the same single  
glass of wine for the duration of a social event  
<that IS a thing you can do **7:53PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<I was thirsty. **7:53PM**

 **shinwon**  
<there was probably a wine connoisseur there who  
knew you were trying to dupe everyone **7:53PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<YOU HUSH. **7:53PM**

 **yojong**  
<this reminds me of the time **8:02PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<For Christ’s sake.  
<What is this, Expose Jinho Day? **8:04PM**

 **yojong**  
<it is now  
<as i was saying  
<this reminds me of the time  
<i think it was like **  
** <week 2?  
<when we were in first year  
<we only just started actual classes it was around  
that time  
<anyhoo  
<jinho fell down the stairs **8:04PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<that’s not that abnormal  
<wooseok fell down the stairs two days ago **8:04PM**

 **noodles**  
<i give you a great story  
<and this is how you repay me **8:04PM**

 **yojong**  
<what makes this roast/funny story worthy is  
that **8:05PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<i’m just saying **8:05PM**

 **yojong**  
<he had a whole armful of apples and bananas and  
shit at the time **8:05PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<there was stair falling **8:05PM**

 **yojong**  
<because he wanted us to be healthy **8:05PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<it’s a common thing **8:05PM**

 **yojong**  
<it was really cute **8:05PM**

 **noodles**  
<ok thats fair **8:05PM**

 **yojong**  
<anyway the fruit flew everywhere **8:05PM**

 **king dad**  
<he stepped on a banana **8:05PM  
** <almost faceplanted into the fridge **8:06PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<Et tu, Brute? **8:06PM**

 **king dad**  
<as the RA it is important for me to deliver all the  
facts **8:06PM**

 **noodles**  
<thats beautiful **8:06PM**

 **shinwon**  
<my turn **8:11PM**

 **yojong**  
<oh good  
<goat story? **8:11PM**

 **shinwon**  
<goat story **8:11PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<Oh dear God. **8:11PM**

 **shinwon**  
<so this one time  
<we went on an adventure to some farm experience  
somewhere  
<it was supposed to be for kids so there was all like  
<chickens and duckies and baby sheeps **8:11PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<sheep **8:11PM**

 **shinwon**  
<sh(eep)ut up  
<chickens and duckies and baby sheeps and  
moomoos **8:11PM**  
<and we got to buy plastic cups full of sheep  
cereal **8:12PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<pellets **8:12PM**

 **shinwon**  
<shut up  
<we bought sheep cereal and fed it to the farm  
puppies **8:12PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<have you been drinking double espresso iced  
coffee again  
<is that why you’re like this **8:12PM**

 **shinwon**  
<…  
<we fed the sheep cereal to the farm puppies  
<and all was well **8:12PM  
** <until this dad goat shows up  
<what’s a dad goat called  
<billy? **8:13PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<billy goat yeah **8:13PM**

 **shinwon**  
<thanks  
<this billy goat shows up  
<he sees jinho  
<tiny weeny ickle short man jinho  
<with his easy access cup of pellets **8:13PM**

 **kiki**  
<did he get pushed over or something **8:13PM**

 **shinwon**  
<he got pushed over  
<the goat stole his cup and ran away with it **8:13PM**

 **noodles**  
<oh my fucking god **8:14PM**

 **shinwon**  
<a six year old boy wet himself laughing at him  
<it was glorious **8:14PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<You’re all on my snaughty list. **8:17PM**

 **not nakamoto**  
<snaughty  
<what the fuck is that **8:17PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<Typo **8:18PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<he was probably gonna say shit and  
backtracked **8:18PM  
** <but not far enough **8:19PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<You’re supposed to have my back!  
<How could you? **8:19PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<well I mean  
<it IS expose jinho day  
<I’m exposing you by dobbing you in **8:19PM**

 **fake wine dad**  
<-.- **8:19PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<if it makes you feel any better  
<that’s as far as I’m gonna go **8:19PM**

 **yojong**  
<aw  
<but you probably have the best stories **8:20PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<significant other’s code of conduct **8:20PM**

 **shinwon**  
<that’s not a thing **8:20PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<it is if I say it is **8:20PM**

 **yojong**  
<boring **8:20PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<I’ve known you since we were nine  
<don’t make me tell one of YOUR embarrassing  
stories **8:20PM**

 **yojong**  
<…  
<ugh **8:20PM**  
<touche **8:21PM**  
<NOT THAT I’M EMBARRASSED LET ME JUST MAKE  
THAT CLEAR **8:25PM**

 **cooking dad**  
<uh huh **8:25PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was once pushed over by a goat at a petting zoo. i was maybe 6? not sure.


	10. episode 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> hongseok - cooking dad -> snek  
> hyojong/e'dawn - yojong -> yoyo  
> hyunggu/kino - kiki -> keynote

**the weed number**

**\--------Wednesday, 10 April 2017--------**

**noodles**   
<i miss you guys **2:03PM**

 **shinwon**   
<it’s been like a day **2:41PM**

 **noodles**   
<three actually **2:42PM**

 **shinwon**   
<oh SORRY your highness **2:42PM**

 **noodles**   
<you are forgiven **2:42PM**

 **shinwon**   
<i hate you **2:43PM**

 **noodles**   
<:( **2:43PM**

\--------

 **yoyo**   
<who wants to see pictures of my dog **5:59PM**

 **keynote**   
<ME **5:59PM**

 **yoyo**   
<[PHOTO] **6:01PM**

 **snek**   
<that’s a stock photo **6:07PM**

 **yoyo**   
<no it’s not **6:07PM**

 **keynote**   
<you can literally see the watermark **6:07PM**

 **yoyo**   
<that’s mine **6:07PM**

 **snek**   
<that’s your watermark **6:08PM**

 **yoyo**   
<yes **6:08PM**

 **keynote**   
<how dumb do you think we are **6:08PM**

 **yoyo**   
<very **6:08PM**

 **keynote**   
<okay wow   
<fuck you too **6:08PM**

 **yoyo**   
<:( **6:08PM**

\--------

**wooseok, yuto**

**yuto**   
<my mum says hi lmao **2:30PM**

 **wooseok**   
<hi yuto’s mum **2:30PM**

 **yuto**   
<technically what she said was   
<you should invite him for dinner   
<he seems like a nice boy **2:31PM**

 **wooseok**   
<i mean id be down **2:31PM**

 **yuto**   
<but i told her you lived too far away   
<oh **2:31PM  
** <really? **2:33PM**

 **wooseok**   
<yeah?   
<youre the closest thing i have to a best friend   
<why wouldnt i **2:33PM**

\--------

**yuto, hyojong**

**yuto**   
<hlep **2:36PM**

 **hyojong**   
<what **2:42PM**

 **yuto**   
<… **2:42PM**

 **hyojong**   
<if this is about wooseok again **2:45PM**

 **yuto**   
<…… **2:45PM**

 **hyojong**   
<i swear to christ **2:45PM**

 **yuto**   
<[SCREENSHOT] **2:46PM**

 **hyojong**   
<so he   
<accepted a dinner invitation   
<and now you’re freaking out about it   
<??? **2:46PM**

 **yuto**   
<HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT   
<WHAT DO I DO **2:46PM**

 **hyojong**   
<yuto   
<you emotionally constipated absolute disaster of a  
human being **2:46PM**

 **yuto**   
<okay **2:46PM  
** <that stung a little **2:47PM**

 **hyojong**   
<that’s bc you know i’m right **2:47PM**

 **yuto**   
<shut up **2:47PM  
** <it’s not just that though **2:49PM**

 **hyojong**   
<explain **2:49PM**

 **yuto**   
<he called me his best friend **2:49PM**

 **hyojong**   
<i noticed   
<congration **2:49PM**

 **yuto**   
<NO   
<like **2:49PM  
** <have i been   
<you know   
<friendzoned **2:50PM**

 **hyojong**   
<first of all   
<don’t perpetuate the use of that word   
<ross geller is a trashmonkey **2:50PM**

 **yuto**   
<…okay? **2:50PM**

 **hyojong**   
<second of all   
<how the shitfuck should i know **2:51PM**

 **yuto**   
<i just thought like   
<you guys are in the same major   
<doesn’t he talk to you about stuff **2:51PM**

 **hyojong**   
<not with me no   
<i think maybe jinho??? **2:51PM**

 **yuto**   
<i’m not talking to jinho   
<he’ll get that Look on his face   
<you know the one   
<the I WILL TURN THIS INTO A TEACHING MOMENT  
look ft. pity **2:51PM**

 **hyojong**   
<then you’re shit out of luck **2:51PM  
** <all you can do is suffer **2:52PM**

 **yuto**   
<:( **2:52PM**

\--------

**Wooseok, Shinwon**

**wooseok**   
<hey   
<i know i dont usually talk to you about   
<yknow   
<stuff   
<but i need to   
<bc like   
<youll tell me straight right **2:36PM**

 **shinwon**   
<oh uh   
<okay   
<and yeah i guess i do **2:36PM  
** <or i will   
<whatever   
<are you okay? **2:37PM**

 **wooseok**   
<idk **2:37PM**    
<it’s about yuto **2:38PM**

 **shinwon**   
<ah yes **2:38PM  
** <the emotional boner **2:39PM**

 **wooseok**   
<what are you talking about **2:39PM**

 **shinwon**   
<your boner that you have over yuto **2:39PM  
** <in your heart **2:40PM**   
<with your emotions **2:41PM**   
<your emotional boner **2:42PM**

 **wooseok**   
<ok kronk **2:42PM**

 **shinwon**   
<you can’t just rub one out to make this boner go  
away my guy   
<you have to talk to him **2:42PM**

 **wooseok**   
<i dont have an emotional boner or whatever for  
yuto **2:42PM  
** <somethings bothering him and it has to do with  
me and idk how to fix it **2:43PM**

 **shinwon**   
<oh **2:42PM  
** <um **2:43PM**   
<talk to him? **2:44PM**

 **wooseok**   
<thats the problem idk if i should   
<can **2:44PM  
** <fuck **2:45PM**

 **shinwon**   
<:(  **2:45PM**


	11. episode 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jinho and hongseok are old men who hate birthday fuss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> display name changes since the last episode:  
> jinho: fake wine dad -> jinhokey pokey  
> hui: king dad -> dad  
> e'dawn: yoyo -> funcle jong  
> yeo one: Changgu!! -> yeoyeo

**the weed number**

**\--------Monday, 17 April 2017--------**

**keynote**   
<you guys are so lame **12:00PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<Why are we lame? **12:04PM**

 **snek**   
<because we don’t wanna go clubbing for our  
birthday **12:04PM**

 **noodles**   
<god you even say our  
<youre so married its disgusting **12:04PM**

 **keynote**   
<i want it on the record that both of you knew  
exactly what i was talking about   
<you’re like grandpas   
<you’re in your 20s not your 70s **12:04PM**

 **noodles**   
<even hui is gonna go out for his birthday   
<right dad **12:04PM**

 **dad**   
<weeeell… **12:06PM**

 **not nakamoto**   
<top 10 anime betrayals **12:06PM**

 **noodles**   
<WHY   
<WHY IS OUR ENTIRE DORM LEADERSHIP TEAM   
<A BUMCH OF FUCKIN <ELDERLY MEN **12:06PM**

 **shinwon**   
<lol bum **12:06PM**

 **yeoyeo**   
<Minion voice **12:06PM**   
<Bottom!! **12:07PM**

 **yananastasia**   
<Banana-ba-banana **12:07PM**

 **yoyo**   
<i tried to find a picture of gru as a  
minion **12:10PM**   
<no luck **12:11PM**

 **not nakamoto**   
<that’s so specific what the fuck **12:11PM**

 **yeoyeo**   
<I’m not sure any of us are ready to experience  
such a cursed image **12:11PM**

 **noodles**   
<can we STAY on TASK here PLEASE **12:11PM**

 **yananastasia**   
<Historically…   
<No. **12:11PM**

_hyojong changed the chat name to cats_

**yananastasia**   
<What? **12:16PM**

 **yoyo**   
<ever heard the expression   
<like trying to herd cats **12:16PM**

 **yananastasia**   
<No.   
<But I am intrigued **12:17PM**

 **yeoyeo**   
<Pretty much it’s a reference to how bad we are at  
not getting sidetracked **12:17PM**

 **yananastasia**   
<Very clever! **12:17PM**

 **yoyo**   
<thanks u **12:17PM**

_Jinho changed the chat name to cats the musical_

**dad**   
<ohh my god **12:22PM**

 **yoyo**   
<jinho you **12:22PM  
** <theatre nerd   
<also what happened to your promise of non chat  
name changing ness **12:23PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<How dare you, Detective Diaz.   
<I am your superior officer! **12:23PM**

 **shinwon**   
<whose idea was it to help him marathon b99   
<I’m going to punch them in the nads **12:24PM**

 **keynote**   
<it was yours **12:24PM**

 **shinwon**   
<objection withdrawn your honour **12:24PM**

**\--------**

**Jinho, Hongseok**

**hongseok**   
<do you think if we keep them distracted for long  
enough **12:22PM**   
<they’ll forget about trying to make us  
youthful **12:22PM**

 **Jinho**   
<Why do you think I broke my vow? **12:22PM**

 **hongseok**   
<you   
<are so smart   
<so handsome and so smart **12:22PM**

 **Jinho**   
<STOP! **12:22PM**

 **hongseok**   
<i love you **12:22PM**

 **Jinho**   
<(っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡ **12:22PM**

**\--------**

**cats the musical**

**keynote**   
<okay now that we’ve moved past jinho’s musical  
theatre nerditude **12:24PM**

 **snek**   
<balls **12:24PM**

 **keynote**   
<what **12:24PM**

 **snek**   
<nothing **12:24PM**

 **kenote**   
<…okie dokie then   
<anyway   
<@jinho @hongseok **12:25PM  
** <please **12:26PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<What about Hui? **12:26PM**

 **snek**   
<yeah what happened to torturing our noble  
leader **12:26PM**

 **dad**   
<WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT   
<NOW THEY’LL COMMIT **12:27PM**

 **not nakamoto**   
<his birthday is later   
<we can put the screws on him then **12:27PM**

 **keynote**   
<i’m putting a reminder in my phone **12:27PM  
** <[CALENDAR SCREENSHOT: MAKE SURE DAD GOES  
OUT FOR HIS OLD PERSON BIRTHDAY] **12:28PM**

 **dad**   
<BALLS **12:28PM**

 **snek**   
<sorry, hui **12:28PM**

 **dad**   
<-.- **12:28PM**

**\--------**

**Jinho, Hongseok**

**hongseok**   
<aw man **12:26PM**

**\--------**

**cats the musical**

**yananastasia**   
<What about a nice dinner?   
<That’s a thing that old people do for their  
birthdays, right? **12:30PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<I’M TWENTY-FOUR. **12:30PM**

 **snek**   
<I’M ONLY 22 YOU LITTLE SHIT **12:30PM**

 **noodles**   
<for now **12:30PM**

 **snek**   
<by the way **12:30PM  
** <i don’t see any of you trying to pressure hyojong  
into having fun   
<“having fun” sorry i forgot the quotation  
marks **12:31PM**

 **yoyo**   
<that IS true   
<we ARE the same age **12:31PM**

 **snek**   
<you SEE? **12:31PM**

 **noodles**   
<hyojong is fun   
<i already know i can count on him to be fun on  
his birthday **12:31PM**

 **shinwon  
** <stop trying to drag all the others down with you  
<first hui now hyojong?  
<smh **12:31PM**

 **yoyo**   
<that is also true   
<i AM the fun uncle **12:31PM**

 **snek**   
<shut up, shinwon **12:32PM**

 **yananastasia**   
<Funcle, if you will.  **12:32PM**

 **not nakamoto**   
<grunkle stan’s real life equivalent   
<funcle jong **12:32PM**

_hyojong changed his display name to funcle jong_

**funcle jong**   
<there   
<now it’s canon **12:32PM**

 **snek**   
<[VIDEO: TAEMIN_I_TRUSTED_YOU.MP4] **12:34PM**

 **funcle jong**   
<¯\\_(ツ)_/¯   
<sorry dude   
<being the funcle is very important to   
me **12:34PM**

 **snek**   
<did you even know it was a role you could have  
until just now **12:34PM**

 **funcle jong**   
<i mean no   
<but the heart knows these things **12:34PM**

 **snek**   
<i live in a house made from HELL **12:34PM**

 **yeoyeo**   
<That doesn’t even make sense!! **12:35PM**   
<How do you have a house made from a  
metaphysical representative manifestation of where  
people go when they die?? **12:36PM**

 **snek**   
<did you fall asleep on your philosophy book  
again **12:36PM**

 **yeoyeo**   
<Yes **12:36PM**

 **shinwon**   
<i still can’t believe you got a philosophy textbook   
to read for fun   
<what are you **12:37PM**

 **yeoyeo**   
<Well rounded?? **12:37PM**

 **shinwon**   
<touché **12:37PM**

 **keynote**   
<hey bday boys **12:44PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<Yes? **12:44PM**

 **snek**   
<what **12:44PM**

 **keynote**   
<what’s your favourite restaurant **12:44PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<An expensive one. **12:44PM**

 **keynote**   
<haHA you think that’s gonna stop me **12:44PM  
** <i’ll just pick a cheap one that sounds like a good  
place regardless of the quality of the food **12:45PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<You wouldn’t dare. **12:45PM**

 **shinwon**   
<he’s dialling rn **12:45PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<SIZZLER.   
<PLEASE CAN WE JUST GO TO SIZZLER. **12:45PM**

 **keynote**   
<are you omnipotent   
<or like   
<psychic or something **12:51PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<? **12:51PM**

 **shinwon**   
<guess which restaurant he was dialling **12:51PM**

 **snek**   
<was it sizzler **12:51PM**

 **keynote**   
<yes i was indeed dialling the number for   
sizzler **12:51PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<Why would you put me through that? **12:51PM**

 **keynote**   
<i’m gonna be honest with you here   
<i did it because i expected it to be funny   
<and i was correct **12:51PM**

 **jinhokey pokey**   
<You’re my least favourite child. **12:51PM**

**\--------**

**shinwon, hyunggu**

**hyunggu**   
<let’s never tell either of them that i was dialling   
dominos for delivery **1:00PM**

 **shinwon**   
<agreed **1:00PM**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first update of the new year, all the way at the end of march. god i am sorry

**Author's Note:**

> 2/7/18: it was bothering me that the description of each member's uni degrees and etc. was taking up a chapter and messing up the word count (inconsequential though it may be, being a texting fic, but that's neither here nor there and my Organisation Brain needed it) so i decided to whack 'em in here in the end note!! 
> 
> The older five are all second years, with the exception of Jinho, who is a third year. As mentioned in Episode 1, he was an RA, or Residential Advisor, the previous year. He was actually the RA of the dorm the second years were in during their first year, which is why they’re all so close at the very beginning. The younger five are all first years. They’re all their current international ages, nobody has been aged up or down. 
> 
> Also, I use first/second/third year instead of freshman/sophomore/junior because I’m Australian and we’re too lazy to give year levels fancy names like those. Just thought I’d clarify that on the off chance some of you thought I was doing it in homage to a certain English magic school.
> 
> Jinho – Education, majoring in Music, K-12  
> Hwitaek (Hui) – Education, majoring in Primary Teaching  
> Hongseok – Exercise Science  
> Hyojong (E’Dawn) – Music Production  
> Shinwon – Fashion Design  
> Changgu (Yeo One) – Accounting  
> Yan An – Arts, majoring in International Relations  
> Yuto – Sports Medicine  
> Hyunggu (Kino) – Arts, majoring in Dance and Performance  
> Wooseok – Music Production


End file.
